if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
