My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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