that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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