saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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