Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
