I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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