He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
