its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
