normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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