***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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