Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
