toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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