Small penises have feelings too.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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