Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
