I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
