Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
