I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
