a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The uberlube is also flammable
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
