Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize