I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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