Jerry, you need to find god
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
pray to the hookup gods
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
