Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
