For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need a burrito and a hug.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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