So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This is the high leading the old right now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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