I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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