It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
