No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
