So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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