so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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