That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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