but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Fuck appropriateness.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
