At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
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