By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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