Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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