walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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