Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
