I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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