We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize