we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
