So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this just has baby written all over it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
