I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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