If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
