It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
