I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
