I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
