My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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