Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
