i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
