ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up under a house in Key West
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
