Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
